RAIDER REPORTS 300% INCREASE IN PROFIT MARGINS AFTER SQUAD MASSACRE

Survivor denies rumors of sociopathy, claiming he is simply "mathematically gifted" in a way his former squad was not.

BLUE GATE While most survivors return from an ARC Queen encounter needing intensive psychological therapy and a new pair of underwear and pants, local Raider "Looter" Lenny returned to the Docks yesterday afternoon with a glowing smile from side to side and a backpack so heavy it almost snapped the elevator cable.

Lenny's squad, "The Three Lone Musketeers" was reportedly cornered by the ARC Queen behind a small boulder near Blue Gate's Checkpoint. While initial reports suggest the rock provided "Adequate tactical cover for all of them", Lenny pushed their teammates out of the boulder's protection.

When asked about the reason behind his actions, Lenny replied, "Have you ever tried to hide three people behind one rock? It’s cluttered. It’s messy. It’s "Old World" thinking. I’m leaning into a minimalist lifestyle now".

A candid shot of two of "The Three Musketeers" transitioning into a decentralized, higher entropy gaseous state.

Lenny’s trek back to the extraction lift was described as "peaceful" and "unburdened by useless chatter". "For the first time in my career, I could peacefully walk without having to hear Sarah complain about her "aching knees" or Mike asking for a "medical adrenaline shot".

"It was quiet," Lenny remarked, with a bright smile on his face. "The only sound was the wind, the distant whistle of an ARC drone, and the sweet clinking of six Queen Reactors and seven Magnetic Accelerators in my backpack. That's the sound of success. I'm sure you can't hear that when your teammates are screaming for help; that's why I never bring a defib to my raids."

Following the announcement of the Mayor's new "Elevator Maintenance Fee" decree, Lenny was reportedly seen at the central ventilation shaft attempting to argue that the extra 80kg in his backpack was "strictly emotional baggage".

The news has affected the Speranza social scene. At the local bar, "The Rusty Bolt" several squads were seen sitting in awkward silence, with members carefully measuring the width of their teammates' shoulders against the nearest piece of cover.

EDITOR'S NOTE:The name of Lenny’s squad has been updated mid-print to reflect the fast-changing events. We apologize for the ink smudges.